i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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