oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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