dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i've created a new STD.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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