I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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