I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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