There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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