Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
