Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
