Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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