Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
