My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He passed out mid-signature
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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