I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
