It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
