Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
