just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
