I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize