Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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