Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
