living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
