Me. At least after what I've been through.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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