I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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