He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
