Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize