I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
