Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
