he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
