Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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