I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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