TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
