I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
we should paint friendship bongs
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
