She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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