why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize