remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
