Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize