Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
