my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
