I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
