Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize