How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
