I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
