I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm going to jail i love you
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
