haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
