is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize