I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
