Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
