and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize