i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
