So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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