What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
