Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
