Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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