I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
