I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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