he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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