It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize