How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
