At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
