Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
