I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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