ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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